Haiku (4 point of views)

I wrote 4 Haiku poems using 4 different perspectives in a waiting room.     

Swirls of light move on

Clock ticks, no hesitation

Linoleum floor, clean

Flashy magazines

Stack up, wanting attention

Competing for reads

Pressed against cool surface

Windows rattle violently 

Shaking me from sleep

Door never opens

It stands proud like an oak tree

Victoriously 

My Doggy's Walk

One can be at a disadvantage when having rules to constructing a poem, but it can be another way of making poetry.  Fixed form is basically like following instructions to making a poem.  The outline is already done for you, all you need to do is fill it with words.  An example of fixed form can be the Haiku.  It can be a restricting process, but the end result is a glimpse of the poet's observation which leaves an imprint of that image in the reader.  

 I made an Iambic trimeter poem here, more of a parody of My Papa’s Waltz with an A,B,A rhyme scheme.  It is not fixed formed nor is it perfect iambic trimeter, but I tweaked the rules in order to make it more appropriate for my poem.  First rule for fixed forms: don't let the rules bully you, but instead use and change them to your advantage until you get the desired message (if you wan't).  The results:    

My Doggy’s Walk

He walks, head held proudly

Royalty in his blood

Flowing with  dignity  

Gallops, avoiding sod

Putting paw down seriously   

Making sure he is heard

Barks with great authority

Being the king of the herd 

Made with the smallest paws

Eyes look ready to pop

Tail curls with grace, no flaws

Perfection does not stop

Hearing other dogs bark

He pulls and yanks angrily

Finding nothing too dark

Finest of ingenuity  

How to Make a Fiction Bestseller RIGHT NOW

Make is the magic word.  Writing…never heard of it.  It’s still in your mind, get rid of it right now because you won’t need it to write a bestseller!  How is that possible you say?  Just by following these three simple steps:    

Step 1. Writing: Now when I mean make a bestseller, I mean think of it as a pure writing experience.   Don’t think about the words; just write down your story.  Write like you talk.  Never use “big words”.  Use words that everyone can understand.  Speak English (fifth grade level maximum).  People don’t want to read a book just for thinking; they want to read it just for the hell of it.  It’s like watching mindless TV, but you’re reading instead and it’s sort of good for you.  Call it mindless reading.  But don’t let your reader know that.  And if you think that by using elementary words won’t fly among your adult audience, then format the novel so that it’s 500-1,000 pages long.  That will keep them busy for a while.  And if someone bad mouths your book for its “simplicity” well then you can introduce them to everyone’s best friend named “Sue”.

Step 2. Plot and characters: I’m going to kill two birds with one stone here.  First, make your plot as simple as possible.  Watch a couple of movies that were not books once, and “borrow” their plot.  Shape it however you want and you got a bestseller idea there.  People don’t want to read about difficult stuff.  They want to read about stuff that is interesting and happening right now.  And they want action.  They want romance, erotica style.  Americana stuff.  So make sure that your book has 1% thinking, 49% romance, and 50& Hollywood action.  As for the characters, make your protagonist the center of attention.  As for the supporting characters: who cares about them?  Actually, make everyone more interesting than your protagonist.  That way, readers won’t get sick and tired of always having to read about the protagonist.  And your protagonist must always fall in love, even if it doesn’t make sense in the novel.  Trust me on this one; this is where the Benjamins will come rolling in.  Your ending should be happy as possible.  Your reader just spent a day reading your whole novel; reward them with a happy ending.

Step 3.  Genre: Pick any genre you want, just follow the 2 steps above.  I recommend a combination of romance, erotica, a dash of sci fi, and some good old fiction.  Throw in the magical letters “YA” if you’re going up against a literary agent.  

I know you will face a lot of “haters” when you do publish this book.  Just remember this: when your book goes numero uno on those shiny charts, get a copy of your book and shove it in their faces.  And if they are still looking down on you for writing “generic garbage” throw some single hundred dollar bills on the floor and tell them you have so much money you don’t even know what to do with it.  Or get your best friend called “Sue” and tell the judge your suffering from psychological problems.  Money won’t be a problem when you have a bestseller on your side.

Still not convinced?  Just look at other bestsellers.  They have used the same similar concepts.  The only difference between them and you is that they knew the publishing business (which is a whole different department).  Besides that, they are normal breathing good people just like the rest of us.    

Now that you have the right tools to succeed, go out there and make a bestseller.  Actually go out there and make 3 bestsellers, self publish them, and edit them later as you make another set of 3 bestsellers.  Remember, this is all about you and only you.  So stop reading and get out there and make the big bucks already.   

                                                                                                                                   (How not to write)

Outsider's Vision

Outsider’s Vision

I see

Burning fields of the most valued crop

Cows yelling from hunger

Uninsured families weeping from their loss

Vultures dancing in the sky, waiting the inevitable

I see

Pillars tumbling faster than a rotting republic
Citizens scurrying away before it all falls on top of them

Leaders gathering their wealth in some haunted villa

I see

A ship lumbering through the lost seas

Its crew constantly fighting

Entrepreneurs hoping to become proprietors

And an explorer searching for a new home

Through a glass darkly

I see

Art Influenced Poem

This poem was influenced by Max Ernst's landscape.  The art piece is in the website of the museum (see notes after the end of poem for information)  Art can be very inspirational, along with music or other literature.  I often find myself making a whole short story based on a few lyrics from a song or a whole novel on one song (or put them on my novels to write list)  For those who have writer's block or if the writing business is getting on your last nerves, take a walk in a museum or listen to some music with the sound all the way up.  It will not only clear your mind, but it will also inspire some great creativity.  Depending on your writer's voice and what you observe, great chemistry can happen (if it blows up in your writing, then you can get the right reaction from you and your readers...science)   

Revolutionary March

People of all shapes and sizes

Yellow, brown, and green  

Leaderless

Abandoning their homelands 

All different

But with a common goal

Moving towards a small pond

Cutting through rows

Of cornfield

Of meadows and forests

Passing grasslands and valleys  

The harsh mountains behind them

They walk into the small pond  

They have travelled worlds  

All heading towards this one place

Where they wash away their sins

Some burn

Like bacteria introduced to antiseptic

Others fade away

Still, a fresh swarm moves in

They all desire this one  

Forbidden oasis

Where they quench their thirst

They couldn’t carve a different path

Or just settle in a different place

Instead they choose this one small pond

For its uniqueness

Being the only one of its kind left

The only reliable one

Free from contamination or drought

It doesn’t matter that it belongs to

The few elites

They march right into the forbidden waters

Manifesting themselves as rightful owners

Max Ernst, Landscape, 1957. Oil on glass in Art Institute Chicago